Program Guidelines
Tip of the Month
Workshops
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Mentor Workshops in Denver
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Resources
Community Resources for Bigs
United Way's "2-1-1 Colorado"" is an excellent resource for people in the Rocky Mountain Region to get or give help in the community. 2-1-1 is a free, multilingual service that refers callers to non-emergency health and human services such as:
- Emergency shelter
- Rent assistance
- Utility assistance
- Substance abuse
- Food banks
Just dial 2-1-1 for free access to the largest database of health and human service organizations in the region. 2-1-1 can also be accessed on the computer at www.unitedwaydenver.org.
Denver Resources
Reading Resources
Tips for Working with Children of Incarcerated Parents
- Challenges
- Building Positive Attachments
- Building Little's Self Esteem
- Discussing Parent's Incarceration
Developmental Stages
- Overview of Developmental Stages
- Five to Seven Years Old
- Eight to Ten Years Old
- Eleven to Thirteen Years Old
- Fourteen to Sixteen Years Old
FAQs
- When I call to make plans with my Little, should I talk with both the Little and the guardian or just the guardian to set up plans?
- It has already been about a year that I have been matched with my Little and I don't feel like we've connected. How do I know that she is enjoying our visits or that I'm making a difference?
- "I have been trying to call my Little, but have been struggling to contact them, and I think their phone might be disconnected. What should I do?"
- Why won't my Little say thank you?
- What can I do to make my Little more proactive in the match relationship (i.e. suggest activities, call Big etc)?
- What should I do because my Little is constantly asking me to buy them things?
When I call to make plans with my Little, should I talk with both the Little and the guardian or just the guardian to set up plans?
It is really important that you always talk to the guardian to confirm availability and set up plans. I would also encourage you to take the time to talk to your Little as well. I know that sometimes it can feel like pulling teeth on the phone, but I have heard from several parents that their child feels really special when their Big calls them to say hi. This is also a great way to let them know you are thinking about them and looking forward to the next time you two will get together.
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It has already been about a year that I have been matched with my Little and I don't feel like we've connected. How do I know that she is enjoying our visits or that I'm making a difference?
Sometimes with children, it is very difficult to measure whether or not we are making an impact in their lives. I would suggest looking for non-verbal cues which might help you to measure your impact. Does she smile when you are together? Does she look forward to your visits? Does she share ideas of thoughts to you of what she likes to do? Is she giving feedback to the family? What are the comments from her mom or dad? Just know that you are making a difference.
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"I have been trying to call my Little, but have been struggling to contact them, and I think their phone might be disconnected. What should I do?"
"Well, you could arrange with your Little and their family a consistent schedule for getting together. For example, you could plan on getting together every other Wednesday at 6pm. This takes the problems communicating over the phone out of the scenario, and you can just always plan on getting together at your set times. Does this sound like something that would work for your match?"
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Why won't my Little say thank you?
Remember, some children have a hard time verbally expressing themselves, especially when it comes to showing gratitude. Often, a child says thank you with a smile. In addition, it's important to suspend judgment on this topic as many of our children aren't exposed to everyday pleasantries. I would model the behavior, and you might see some success. Remember, the fact that your Little is excited to see you and is invested in the match speaks volumes about their appreciation of you.
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What can I do to make my Little more proactive in the match relationship (i.e. suggest activities, call Big etc)?
Particularly when it comes to activity planning- instead of making suggestions on their own, instead they should tell the Little that they're responsible for deciding and planning what their next match activity will be.
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What should I do because my Little is constantly asking me to buy them things?
Remember to maintain strong boundaries and blame the fact they can't buy things on the agency (saying it is our rules). I also tell them to reinforce the fact that they are just around to be a friend and do cool activities and not to buy them things. Another approach I sometimes suggest is for the Big to teach responsibility through some sort of profit making activity (i.e. raking leaves for neighbors) with their Little, then when they save enough money they get to do a special activity etc.
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